Dun dun duh-duh-dun dun…duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-DUN.
Can’t believe the NFL is back. I’m excited to get disappointed by my fantasy team and gamble with money I shouldn’t be gambling with (responsibly). College football Week 1 was a success, from both a viewing perspective and (allegedly) my venmo account. Now it’s time for the NFL to follow suit.
Hard Knocks was pretty good and it got me thinking about ATS records for teams that were on the show, only for their Week 1 games. I couldn’t find that specific stat anywhere so I did the research myself, using Pro Football Reference (*Editor’s note: Tampa Bay was on Hard Knocks in 2017 but their season opener against the Dolphins was postponed because of Hurricane Irma, so I did not count their first game that was played in Week 2 (in which they covered as favorites and the under hit)):
Hard Knocks team ATS in Week 1: 8-7-1
HK outright wins as underdogs: 2
Opponent outright wins as underdogs: 5
Under is 11-5
2001: Ravens, -10.5, o/u 33.5…Final CHI (6) at BAL (17)
2002: Cowboys, -8.5, o/u 33.5…Final: DAL (10) at HOU (19)
2007: Chiefs, +3, o/u 38…Final: KC (3) at HOU (20)
2008: Cowboys, -6, o/u 48.5…Final: DAL (28) at CLE (10)
2009: Bengals, -5, o/u 41…Final: DEN (12) at CIN (7) (Brandon Stokley can kiss-my-anthia)
2010: Jets, -1, o/u 36.5…Final: BAL (10) at NYJ (9)
2012: Dolphins, +13.5, o/u 41.5…Final: MIA (10) at HOU (30)
2013: Bengals, +3, o/u 41.5…Final: CIN (21) at CHI (24)
2014: Falcons, +3, o/u 51.5…Final: NO (34) at ATL (37) in OT
2016: Rams, -2.5, o/u 43…Final: LAR (0) at SF (28)
2018: Browns, +3.5, o/u 41…Final: PIT (21) at CLE (21)
2019: Raiders, +3, o/u 42.5…Final: DEN (16) at OAK (24)
2020: Chargers, -2.5, o/u 41.5…Final: LAC (16) at CIN (13)
2020: Rams, -1, o/u 52…Final: DAL (17) at LAR (20)
2021: Cowboys, +8.5, o/u 52…Fina:DAL (29) at TB (31)
2022: Lions (+4) vs. Eagles, o/u 48.5
Lions are at home so they seem like a sexy pick, especially cause Hard Knocks teams have covered in five straight Week 1 games, but I just can’t do it. However, I will be confidently betting the under.
More picks are below some futures I’m taking.
Seahawks Under 5.5 Regular Season Wins (+115)
I am so down on the Seahawks this year. I think they may be the worst team in the league. Do you really trust Geno Smith and Drew Lock?
Bobby Wagner is gone, that’s gonna hurt the morale for the defense and the locker room. Plus money here is a steal.
Bengals Over 10 Regular Season Wins (even money)
If the Bengals don’t win 11 games this year then something didn’t go right. (*Editor’s note: Rams o/u is 10.5 I think, which is appealing, but this Stafford elbow stuff freaks me out so I’m staying away from that)
AFC North winner: Bengals (+120)
Why are the Ravens the outright favorite? WHO DEY.
AFC South winner: Jaguars (+640)
Just doing this one for fun. Maybe Doug Pedersen will be the difference. Maybe Trevor Lawrence makes a Joe Burrow-esque second-year leap. Maybe the Colts and Titans underperform.
NFC North winner: Vikings (+230)
This is a mainstream bias pick. If the hype around Kevin O’Connell is real and the Kirk Cousins/Mike Zimmer drama was bringing the team down, this could very well happen. This is also me banking on Aaron Rodgers really missing a true #1 wideout.
MVP: Jalen Hurts (+2100)
Also a bit of a mainstream bias pick but this is really good value.
Onto to the *tentative picks:
Bills at Rams (ml +115) & o52 – I forgot to buy the half point but it’s always the over for the first game of the season. Rams ml because I’m pretty sure McVay’s got a great record when he gets extra time to prepare and it’s a home dog.
Dom Toretto’s “Take it or leave it” NFL Pick of the Weekend: Steelers at Bengals (-6.5) – WHO DEY.
Saints at Falcons (+5.5) – I could absolutely see the Falcons getting wrecked but I’ll tell ya why I like them here: Dennis Allen has the bad HC record (like 8-28, I think (*Editor’s note: yeah I stopped doing actual research cause it took me a while to look up those Hard Knocks numbers and I need to go to bed)) and Arthur Smith will throw everything he’s got into this game because the Falcons won’t have a good chance to win much more after this one.
Eagles at Lions (Under 48.5) – Following the numbers on this one.
Broncos (-6.5) at Seahawks – Again, I just don’t like Seattle at all this year. Give me the Russ revenge game and LET’S RIDE.
It just feels different. I woke up this (Thursday) morning, September 1st, with an extra pep in my step. Whenever I work the midnight shift, I’ll wake up the next morning at 8am, open up my right eye (it takes a few minutes for the left eye to start functioning), scroll the phone for about a half hour, finally get up, make some coffee and start my day (i.e. sit on my couch for an hour and watch the Dan Patrick Show). But that wasn’t the case today. No, sir. Today I woke up, opened both of my eyes and scrolled the phone for about 20 minutes before making some coffee and staring at the board (with DP on in the background). I had a good week 0, going 3-1, which is important for two (2) reasons: I can’t afford to gamble so I have to win and that gave me some confidence when looking at the board this week. There’s very little mainstream bias in my picks, mostly gut feelings, so we shall see. Below my picks I will have my SEC insider’s picks of the weekend. Happy college football Week 1 everybody. (Editor’s note: I’ll almost always buy a half point because I hate pushing and I’m paranoid enough to think the whole number will always hit)
Dominic Toretto’s “Take it or leave it” Pick of the Week: Rice at USC (-32.5)
WVU (+7.5) at Pitt
Ball St. at Tennessee (-35.5)
Houston at UTSA (over 61.5) – bought half point
Oregon at Georgia (-16.5) – bought half point
Cincinnati at Arkansas (-6.5) – bought half point
Texas St. at Nevada (ml -115)
MTSU at James Madison (-5.5)– bought half point
Army at Coastal Carolina (over 53.5)– bought half point
UMass at Tulsa (over 59)
Late add: Miami (OH) at Kentucky (-16.5)
Georgia St. at South Carolina (-12.5)
Notre Dame at Ohio St. (-16.5) – bought half point
*Late add: ND-OSU o58.5 – bought half point
Boise St. (ml +120) at Oregon St.
SEC Insider picks of the weekend:
Mouth Watering Pick of the Week: Georgia -17
Cincinnati at Arkansas (-7)
“I am toying with the idea of Florida ml (+125)” at home vs. Utah
When’s the last time you asked yourself, “What the fuck am I doing?”
Take a second and think about it. I guarantee you’ve said this at least once your life. Maybe you don’t use expletives (I won’t judge you if you’re and H-E-double hockey sticks kinda person), but you’ve said this to yourself before.
This question can be a negative or positive thing and it doesn’t have to be about life or be super serious. Maybe there was a time when you chose to eat at KFC instead of Chick-fil-A and you grabbed a chicken breast out of your chicken bucket, took that first bite, then looked down at your hands, lathered in grease and oils like you’re in the middle of giving a massage to The Colonel, and thought, “What the fuck am I doing?” Personally, I’ve never encountered this problem because I’m not a communist and would never elect to go to KFC over Chick-fil-A but you do you. But maybe there was a more honest moment in your life when you had to stop and ask yourself, “What the fuck am I doing?”
For me, this has become a recurring thing over the last few years. There’s been days I would wake up, stare at the ceiling (or the bottom of the bunk bed above me because I still live at home please don’t judge me) for a minute and ask myself that question. There were times when I would be walking to or from class, a young and stout sports broadcasting major at Indiana University, listening to Pardon My Take or The Bill Simmons Podcast and that question would just pop into my head. I don’t know why, but it did. Or more recently, three weeks ago to be exact, after I quit my potential six-figure job in home sales to continue chasing a career in the broadcast industry.
Side note: I strongly recommend you quit at least one job in your life. It was truly one of the most exhilarating feelings I’ve ever had. You don’t have to make a scene or do anything too crazy (although I bet that would be a pretty dope feeling, like that dude who quit his job at Popeyes by rapping it in the store), but it’s a unique feeling you won’t find anywhere else.
I knew quitting that job was a big risk, but I’ve always embraced the challenge of taking a big risk. I could’ve gone to a local school with lots of my friends from high school, but I wanted to get out of my comfort zone and force myself to meet new people.
‘nother side note: I hate meeting new people. I know that’s a terrible mentality to have, but if you gave me the option of going out or staying in to to drink alcohol and watch a game or a movie, I’m choosing to stay in about 80% of the time (you gotta have some fun at least some of the time).
I could’ve studied something basic like business or marketing, but I chose IU because they have the best sports media program around and I wanted to do something that would make me feel electric. I knew I wanted a job where people would hear what I had to say after I single-handedly led my high school student section to the state football championship our senior year (shut up Reid and Bull, let me have my moment). And I accomplished both of those tasks in school. I met some dope people, some not-so-dope people, and experienced some amazing experiences I never thought I’d experience (real writers know how to take one word and use it three different ways).
But quitting that job was probably the biggest risk I’ve taken. Prior to accepting that position, I spent about five months of my life after graduation feeling more emotions than a mood ring. The job market hit me like a fucking wrecking ball and I didn’t fire any shots back (thank you Ms. Rose for teaching me similes/metaphors). Not having a job, combined with seeing all my friends moving on with their lives, made me depressed as shit. I wasn’t really talking to anyone and I couldn’t look my parents in the eyes whenever I had dinner with either of them. They tried to get me out of my funk but their words would go in one ear and out the other. At that point, the ONLY thing that was gonna make me happy again was to find a job. So I started looking for work outside of broadcasting. One day, I was conversing with my friend from school and he was telling me about his job in home sales and said I should try applying. I got hired exactly one week later. All of the negative emotions I felt from the five months prior just washed away faster than Kevin Spacey’s career. I was finally happy again.
Now let’s get back to the part about me quitting the job that finally made me happy again.
I didn’t hate the job at all. In fact, it was really enjoyable most of the time. I had a salary (for the time being), all the benefits, people I enjoyed working with, the whole nine yards. But I decided to quit after only two months because it wasn’t the career for me. There were many days at work when I’d be practicing touring a home or just be sitting at my desk and would think to myself, “What the fuck am I doing?” But this was a positive version of that question. Remember that scene from Role Models when the guy is in Elizabeth Banks’ office after stealing all those TV’s? I kinda felt like that but only questioning myself. “Me? Griffin Weinberg? Trying to sell homes?!?” THAT is not me.
After telling my sales manager I couldn’t work there any longer, I walked out to my car, knowing damn well I didn’t have a clue what I was gonna do next, and let the adrenaline flow throughout my body. I opened the front door to my teal-ish colored Corolla, sat down, took a deep breath, exhaled said deep breath, and let the realization of what I had just done hit me. After taking a minute to recollect myself, I asked aloud, “What the fuck am I doing?”
But again, this was a positive version of that question. Like I was half-smiling when I asked that to myself while sitting in my car. I felt rejuvenated after quitting that job. I FEEL rejuvenated after quitting that job. Although I’m currently still unemployed, I’m not gonna fall back into that cave I was trapped in while I was depressed (unless falling into that cave means I’m gonna be Batman some day then I guess I’m cool with that).
I got a new lease on life, and I mean that both literally and metaphorically. Literally, I just leased an office the other day, dubbed “The Griffin Weinberg Experience,” so I can get out of my house and have a place to get some work done (business 101: you gotta spend money to make money).
No longer am I asking myself, “What the fuck am I doing?” Instead, I ask myself, “What the fuck WAS I doing?”
I honestly haven’t felt this good in a while from a mental standpoint (physically I haven’t worked out in like three months). I’m working on a podcast with a couple guys and I’m starting to make some progress on the job front (cookie crumbs, but it’s progress). And I may start blogging a little bit too, so keep your eyes peeled.
The Chinese calendar claims 2019 is the Year of the Pig, but the Chinese are wrong (no offense).
What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve done in the last year?
I’m limiting this question to the last year because I believe everyone should do at least one spontaneous thing a year that spices up their life. Whether you’re stuck on the hamster wheel of a 9-to-5 job or living like an instagram model that got subpoenaed by the FBI for supporting Billy McFarland’s maniacal dream, you gotta do something that gives you a story tell your gambler’s anonymous group one day.
And when I say spontaneous, I mean doing something that feels like a reckless life decision or takes you out of your comfort zone. Deciding to cancel your date with a guy at a $75-a-plate restaurant at the last second to go over to your girlfriend’s apartment to binge countless hours of Gossip Girl while munching on your shitty homemade puppy chow does not count as spontaneous. Oh, by the way, FUCK YOU BRITTANY!!! I don’t need you anyway! Have fun being a lawyer and making hundreds of thousand dollars instead of riding my wagon as I strive to make $50,000 a year in my tenth year post-grad working in sports…………………bitch.
Side bar: Sort of on that same subject, I’ll tell you about a reckless decision that took me out of my comfort zone a couple of years ago. One night after the college basketball national championship, around 12:30 am, I decided to chug a bottle of NyQuil to help put me to sleep. After laying in bed for a half-hour and on the cusp of dozing off into REM sleep, I get a text from a very nice lady asking me to meet up with her at the bar.
Side note to the side bar: Not to brag or anything, but some of the ladies I interact with on a daily basis typically take a liking to me. And by some ladies I mean all ladies…All the ladies….Every of the ladies.
OMG YOU WATCH THE OFFICE TOO?!?! NO FUCKING WAY?!?! WANNA GET MARRIED?!?!
Back to the side bar: Being the introverted person I am (while also mulling over the potential effects of mixing NyQuil with shots of SoCo. and tequila (“not just any tequila, make it a Hornitos”)), I wasn’t fully into the idea of taking a 20-minute walk at 1:00 in the morning to the bar to meet up with a girl who was probably already drunk (Narrator: “she was”). But this opportunity doesn’t come by me very often so I said “fuck it” and decided to live my life to the fullest that night [insert smirking emoji].
THAT, in my opinion, is spontaneous. I could’ve passed out in bed whilst listening to Stan Verrett and Neil Everett screaming at the top of their lungs from 3,000 miles away, but instead I did something I wouldn’t normally do and now I have a story to make of it.
The topic of spontaneity is relevant with me. If you read my last blog, you’d know I quit my job on a whim to get back into working in sports. Well, two (2) days after writing that blog, I was offered a job in the Alliance of American Football working with the Orlando Apollos as a video assistant. I’ve never done anything like this before and I don’t intend to keep working in video after the season (it’s a seasonal job that ends in late April), but the opportunity was too good to pass up.
The hot thing in the sports world these days is for athletes to tell a camera about the moment they found out they got traded, so here’s my story for the Players’ Tribune:
It was the Sunday before the Super Bowl. The time? 1:55 pm. I was in my basement playing NBA 2K19 (I had been playing for about 1 hour 37 minutes). I was in My Player mode on the verge of sweeping the Golden State Warriors to get to the Conference Finals (yeah, you read that right). My guy Melvin Goldstein (90 overall) had 21 points, 5 rebounds, 8 assists, 3 steals, 1 block and 4 turnovers on 7-8 shooting (5-6 from 3) in the 3rd quarter when I get a call from my brother Matt. I paused the game to answer the phone when Matt told me he just got off the phone with my current boss and said he was looking for an assistant. Matt’s looking for full-time work so he couldn’t do it, but he said I need to call this guy right now if I’m interested. I hung up the phone, immediately called Dave (my boss) and less than an hour later I took the job.
I wasn’t looking for this job, but I let life (not Jesus) take the wheel of my existence and steer me in the direction of positivity. It was time for me to pick up my life (not my Xbox) and get back to work. Five days later I drove 13 hours down to Orlando to begin this wonderful adventure. I’ve been here for just over a week and I couldn’t be happier. We beat the ever-living shit out of the Atlanta Legends, 40-6, Saturday night. Walking around the stadium before the game, on the field, in the press box, standing next to Jeff Fisher, all that jazz made me realize how much I missed this shit.
Because I’m working odd hours, I don’t have time to write as much as I was hoping I would, but I’ll try to do this when I can. Honestly, I started this blog with the intentions of writing a piece about why Jason Derulo simultaneously deserves all the Grammys and is the worst artist of all time, so I have no fucking clue how we got here. But that will probably be the next thing I write.
When’s the last time you made a change to your life?
This could be a big change, like, say, quitting your job or moving to another country or another part of the country or anything you may consider a big change. This could also be an incremental change, like trying a new diet or reading more books or watching a new genre of porn. Don’t shy away from that last one. You watch porn. I sure as hell do. We all do (except you mom please don’t think of me any differently I still love you do you still love me? No? OK moving on).
I think it’s very easy to get caught in a routine and get comfortable with doing the same thing over and over, like Wile E. Coyote continually getting his ass handed in by a cartoon bird on speed (*covering my mouth with my hand doing my best Trevor Wallace impression* “I’m talking about that OTHER speed bro”).
This question came to mind over the past few days as I decided to re-watch the greatest movie franchise in history, The Fast & the Furious. This set of eight documentaries (try to convince me cars can’t parachute out of an airplane from 50,000 feet and land safely on the ground – I dare you) is the definition of jumping from 0-100. But, for the most part, they don’t completely lose sight of what they really are about: family, loyalty, and living your life a quarter mile at a time. The first piece of cinematic art was about an undercover cop attempting to infiltrate a gang of street racers who steal TVs and DVD players. Fast-forward ten (!) years, the fifth (and best) installment involved “the team” stealing $100 million from Brazil’s richest man. By the time Fate (F8te?) of the Furious came out, “the team” were international agents of espionage blowing up submarines with their cars.
Change can be a good thing. But even though these films have blown up to heights no one could have ever imagined (the last two grossed over $1 billion), they have still managed to stay true to their roots. Dom Toretto is the straw that holds this cinematic universe together (no offense, Paul Walker) and is always the same Dom Toretto who only cares about his “familia.”
(Quote from Fast 5)
I understand that isn’t always the case, though. When most people think of The Fast and the Furious, they think of cool cars, giant explosions, Toretto crashing his car into the side of the highway on a bridge propelling him into the median to catch his brought-back-from-the-dead girlfriend from falling into the water and landing safely on the other side of the highway by using a car windshield as a cushion. (Skip to 2:24)
(That was all practical. No CGI.)
Though this franchise wasn’t always about going above and beyond, the producers/writers knew early on they had something big in their grasp. The first instance of testing the audience’s limits happened in the opening race of 2 Fast 2 Furious. Brian O’Conner (RIP in peace) is in a race with Sucre from Prison Break, the stunning Michael Ealy, and Steve Aoki’s half-sister. There is a bridge jump at the end of the race and O’Conner hits the NOS at just the right time and proceeds to pass Ealy mid-air. (Skip to the 2:00 mark)
This doesn’t seem all that crazy, but if you tried this in real life you’d probably crash and burn (don’t try to jump your car off a bridge…you’re not Brian O’Conner). There is another scene at the end of the movie when Roman Pierce (Tyrese) and Brian jump a ’70 Mustang off a ramp and onto a moving yacht to take down the villain: Carter “I want my cutter back” Verone.
The movie is only teasing the audience here, just fondling our nads a little bit, and seeing if we’re accepting of things that are otherworldly (Narrator: they were cool with it). But besides those two stunts, 2 Fast 2 Furious is pretty on brand. There’s dope cars, bikini-clad ladies dancing by their (or their sugar daddy’s) dope cars, and some mutual respect between friends and family.
After the initial sequel came the most questionable film in the franchise, The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift. At the time, this movie had nothing to do with the first two, save a pre-MCU end-credits scene with the reveal that Dom Toretto knew Han (sweet, beautiful Han) and wanted to learn more about his death (which plays right into the plot of Furious 7). Tokyo Drift has no deep-rooted family connection, essentially no Toretto and no O’Conner at all, and had Calvin Cambridge of the Los Angeles Knights telling us the key to drifting is to “rip the E-brake and power over.”
Also, Mike Winchell playing a rebellious high schooler and not once yelling the words “21 Razor! 21 Razor!”? Eh. This one was an outlier.
The fourth movie brought the franchise back to life. Sean Parker/Justin Timberlake told producers Vin Diesel and Neil Moritz to “drop the ‘The'” from the title because “it’s cooler,” and out came Fast & Furious (for the record, I think The Fast and the Furious is cooler; a little more fast and a little less furious). The core characters were back and some of the core themes as well: lots of racing, pretty ladies, and O’Conner again, this time as an FBI agent, getting succumbed to the criminal life and his loyalty to Toretto.
Side note: this was also the on-screen debut of known Jew/current Wonder Woman, Gal Gadot, and she will forever be known as “Gisele” in my mind.
Fast & Furious is a great example of making subtle changes but not going too overboard. There was definitely more “furious” in this one, but at the time, I don’t think anyone would’ve predicted the action-packed leap this series would take (by the time Fast and Furious 6 came out, instead of worrying about the familia and cool race sequences, my main focus going into these movies is what cool one-liner will The Rock say this time?). (My favorite is probably when his partner in Fast Five says to him “Good news, bad news,” and The Rock responds “You know I like my dessert first,” and “Gimme the damn veggies,” respectively).
I’ve made many references to Fast Five in this blog and that’s because it’s not only the best of these films, but it’s one of the greatest movies of all-time. Toretto and O’Conner are on the run in Brazil and plan to do one final heist before leaving their life of crime (an amazing plot for any movie). We get the return of Roman Pierce and Tej (Ludacris) from 2 Fast 2 Furious along with Han and Gisele from Fast & Furious, Vince from The Fast and the Furious, among others. Bill Simmons and Shea Serrano dropped an episode of “The Rewatchables” podcast the other night discussing why it is one of the best movies of all time. I have yet to listen to it but I’m sure I’ll agree with every word they say.
Fast Five is about much more than an all-time great movie fight between Vin Diesel and The Rock and two cars dragging a safe containing $100 million through the streets of Rio de Janeiro. This is as deeply rooted as The Fast and the Furious. There’s family: O’Conner learns he’s having a kid with Mia Toretto. Loyalty: Dom still considering Vince familia even though he went behind Dom’s back on a job-gone-wrong. And living you’re life a quarter mile at a time: saying “fuck it” and deciding to steal from the wealthiest man in Brazil before disappearing forever. Fast Five has it all and will not let you down.
Because it was such a big hit, Fast and Furious 6 pretty much said “fuck it” and just went bananas. The budget jump between the two movies went from $125 million to $160 million and it showed. There were more explosions, crazy fight sequences, and a battle on an unrealistically huge airplane on an 18-mile runway. And, honestly, the last three movies were like that: saying “fuck it” and doing the most outrageous stunts possible.
I could go into detail about the last three movies, but that would take a lot of time, as if I haven’t taken enough of it already. They’re very good pieces of art in my eyes, but they really lost sense of what this franchise is truly about, save for Dom Toretto and his undying loyalty to his familia.
I feel like I lost control of this blog, so let us go back to my initial question: When’s the last time you made a change to your life?
As stated many times here, Dom Toretto is the driving force in this franchise. He has the same morals and principles in all the movies, which is why they’re great, but he’s shown a lot of growth as well. Through all of the feats of unreasonable strength, flying headbutts…
…and killer smiles, this scene from TheFast and the Furious defines this character and what these movies stand for. (It’s only three minutes so just freaking watch it)
“I live my life a quarter mile at a time. Nothing else matters: not the mortgage, not the store, not my team and all their bullshit. For those ten seconds or less, I’m free.”
Change can be a good thing. Change can be progressive for your life. It’s important to learn and adapt to your surroundings. But, also, never lose sight of where you’re from or what you stand for.
I’m gonna be interning at 10tv in Columbus this summer with the intentions of parlaying that into a reporter/anchor job somewhere after. This isn’t something I always wanted do, but I need to do it, and I’m gonna make some changes in order for that to happen. I plan to do this by living my life a quarter mile at a time. Just instead of ten seconds, it’ll be more like a few minutes while I’m on-air. But the principles will stay the same.
And that quote can work for anyone. EVEN YOU. If you’re wanting to make a big or small change in your life, just think to yourself: “What would Dom Toretto do?”
Griffin Weinberg 