“Swear it was like, ‘I’ll be damned.’
I’m finally back to bein’ who I am.
When we were over, it was overnight.
Light came on, it all felt right.” – Morgan Wallen, I Got Better (I’m the Problem, 2025)
Last week was a big failure.
3-6. Zero care went into the games I picked. Hell, I forgot to pick the Toretto. Just left it blank. And the Notre Dame-Miami game? All I wrote was “Notre Dame.” Not even the spread. Not even “Miami (FL).” Just “Notre Dame.”
You trusted me. And I failed you.
But I’ll be damned. The light came on and I’m feeling like the old me again (over 50% last year and since 2022). I have 24 plays for Saturday. I remembered to pick a Toretto. I put in the research. I’m ready to fucking roll.
Some things will always stay the same, though. Mr. (or Mrs./Ms.) SEC Insider barely got over the Mendoza line. Taking Texas with the MWP and Arch couldn’t get it done. Then picked Syracuse to cover against “TN” (Morgan Wallen, I’m the Problem, 2025). Congrats on picking the SISU boys, Georgia Tech, to handle business against Colorado. I’m in alignment with the Insider (could literally be anyone) on one important pick and am the opposite on another. We’ll see how things shakeout.
And how about the Prem League Advisor? What a wire-back that person is. Gives us Tottenham at -155 and they lose outright. Good news? The Prem is on a bye this week. Thank god.
Last week: 3-6 / In 2024: 106-102-2 / Since 2022: 248-243-4
Dominic Toretto’s “Take it or leave it” Pick of the Week (Last week: 0-0 / 2024 record: 8-7 / Overall: 17-13-1): San Jose State at Texas -36.5 – At Texas, Sark is 4-1 as a favorite of 35 or more vs G5 teams. The Horns covered all three games last season in this spot. They also scored over 50 points each of the four games they covered so don’t be afraid to take the OVER of 52.5. Ya know what? I’m adding the OVER. Since I failed to give a Toretto last week, we’re doubling up this week. Toretto x2. LFG. Texas -36.5 AND OVER 52.5.
Illinois -3 at Duke
Iowa at Iowa State UNDER 41.5 – It’s the ultimate “take the under” game. Since 2014, the under is 8-2. Last year only went over 36 because of a last-second field goal.
Baylor at SMU -2.5 – I was sitting at a bar last Saturday watching Michigan-New Mexico. I had worked 12 hours and just wanted to watch football and drink beer (I think it was anywhere between 1-5 beers. I THINK.). Guy I was sitting next to was named Scott (I THINK). Early 60s, slim figure, college football fan. He’s from Waco, TX. He said no one likes Dave Arranda and he should’ve been fired years ago. This one is for (I THINK) Scott.
CMU at Pitt -21.5
UConn +7 at Syracuse
Kent State at Texas Tech -47.5 – This is the “You wanna pay $50 million for your roster and be treated like one of the big dawgs in college football? Then hit this fucking number,” Game of the Week. They covered 54.5 last week against Arkansas Pine-Bluff. They better fucking hit this number.
Ole Miss -10 at Kentucky – The Cats shocked Ole Miss in Lafayette last year. This is a revenge game for Lane Kiffin.
Oklahoma State at Oregon -27.5 – Mike Gundy needs to stop talking. Dan Lanning is 4-1 as a home favorite of at least 27 points as head coach (FYI, all five games were vs G5 teams).
Kansas +6.5 at Missouri – I think it’s been a while since the Border War was played in football. Big rivalry game and I imagine Mizzou Stadium (stupid name) will be sold out. But it’s a rivalry game. I expect it to be close. Jalon Daniels has been playing football at Kansas just as long as Perry Ellis was in school. He has big-game experience on the road.
Troy at Clemson OVER 51.5 – I read some article that Troy knows how to put up points. Clemson needs a big response after blowing it vs LSU.
Texas State +4.5 at UTSA – Remember that guy Scott? From the bar I was sitting at? The bar was packed to watch the Michigan game. Every TV was on Michigan-New Mexico. That’s life in the U.P. First thing Scott does after he sits down is asks the bartender, who is profusely sweating from pouring drinks non-stop, “Can you put one of the TVs on Eastern Michigan vs Texas State?”
Bartender (male, mid to late 40s, cannot believe what this guy just asked): “Maybe. What channel?”
Scott (I THINK): “ESPN+.”
I couldn’t believe it.
Bartender (puzzled): “We have that but I’ll have to try and login.”
Scott: “That’s fine.”
Scott’s son went to Texas State. It took the bartender over an hour to actually give a shit, but he did get the game on ESPN+ on one of the TVs. This one is also for Scott(?).
West Virginia at Ohio +3.5 – Trap game. WVU has the Backyard Brawl next week. Why the fuck would WVU schedule an away game at a decent MAC school the week before a rivalry game?
South Florida at Florida -18.5 – Aaron Pinsky (right) is the two-time recipient of the Bruce Weinberg Memorial Scholarship. Just found out he is a Gator. #FuckCancer #LFG(ators)
Arkansas State +23.5 at Arkansas – I believe this is the first ever matchup for these guys. Butch Jones coaching at ASTU. Does Sam Pittman even want to be coaching anymore?
Houston at Rice OVER 39.5
Western Kentucky +7 at Toledo – WKU has one of those “QB and OC transferred to the same school last offseason” situations going on. They’re 2-0 and the QB has 8 passing TDs and over 700 yards so far. Toledo lost 24-16 at Kentucky last week, but they scored with less than two minutes left, so it really wasn’t that close.
Michigan at Oklahoma UNDER 44.5 – Venables is a defensive guy. First road start for Bryce Underwood. He may look like Arch against OSU. I like OU -4.5 as well.
Boston College at Michigan State -4.5
Georgia Southern at USC -28.5 – At USC, Lincoln Riley is 4-0 at home as a 28 point favorite in September.
Ball State at Auburn -43.5
ULM at Alabama -36.5 – They HAVE to. You just know Nick Saban is on Kalen DeBoer’s ass like Robert de Niro/Ben Stiller in “Meet the Parents.” Bama needs to blow the roof off the Rajin’ Cajuns. If they do not, then, the program is officially dead.
UCLA at UNLV +2.5
SEC Insider Picks of the Weekend
Last week: 1-2 / 2025 record: 1-2 / Since 2022: 55-61-3
*the following is verbatim*
1-2 is not the start we wanted but they can never take away the fact that we were perfect on Friday night to start the season.
Mouth Watering Pick of the Week (0-1 in 2025 / 3-9-1 in 2024 / 14-14-1 overall): San Jose State at Texas -36.5 – Style Points. I think everyone is [sic] over reacting to Texas. Buckeyes are going to be awesome. Texas will make noise this year. Arch looked like an overrated bum. What better way to bring his confidence back up then to lay one on the Spartans? Texas big. Potential shutout from the D.
Kansas at Missouri -6.5 – One of the sneaky great rivalries in sport. I think this is close for a while then Mizzou pulls away late. I like the Mizzou pass rush and think they wear on Jalon Daniels.
Miami OH +15.5 at Rutgers- Miami played about as poorly as you could possibly play offensively and only lost by 17 to Wisconsin. Rutgers stinks. I know Dequan Finn can complete a forward pass, I’ve seen it before. I like Miami to keep it close.
Prem League Advisor Pick of the Weekend
Last week: 0-1 / 2025 record: 0-1 / Since 2023: 8-7
*the following is verbatim*
(Prem League is on a bye week)
Griffin Weinberg 