“Ayy, this goes to Mrs. Right because you swear you do no wrong.” – BigXthaPlug, About You ft. Tucker Wetmore (I Hope You’re Happy, 2025)
“I want my casket laced with guns and roses.” – mgk, goddamn (lost americana, 2025)
“I see you shaking your arse like a rockstar, just like a rockstar. Nobody can touch ya, touch ya, Yeah you know who you arе.” – The Struts, Rockstar (Pretty Vicious, 2023)
These lyrics have been stuck in my head the last couple weeks.
I’ve been listening to all three artists/songs/albums on repeat during my standard (mostly) daily workouts of 59 pull-ups, 210 pushups, 150 crunches and running two (2) miles. I’ll mix in some yoga, stretching or mobility work on the other days, which don’t require me to listen to music. Always try to get 10,000 steps a day. That’s the key to burning fat. I’m getting off topic.
Randomly, throughout the day, those lyrics will pop in my head and then I’ll probably say them out loud, quietly, under my breath. Like most normal people do with songs that are stuck in their head.
But I can’t imagine what my co-workers must think of me. We sit in close quarters, yet I’m not afraid to utter the words (quietly), doing a very bad impression of mgk, “I want my casket laced with guns and roses.” Add that to the constant “Jesus fucking Christ,” and “you fucking idiot,” that I say to myself (quietly) at my desk when trying to meet a deadline, and they must think I have some serious problems (I don’t think I do) and maybe even hate myself (I don’t).
One thing I’m confident that my co-workers do not know about me, is I have a college football gambling blog that is demanded from the masses. When I didn’t release a Week 0 blog last week, the outcry from my followers was hysterical. My mentions looked worse than what’s going on in the Middle East (and whatever part of the world Ukraine and Russia are in).
But Week 0 is called “Week 0” for a reason. Nobody gives a flying fuck about it. Yes, it’s great to have football on TV again, but that isn’t the REAL football we want. The first AMERICAN college football game being played in a FOREIGN nation? That’s what you’ve been waiting about seven months for? Child, please.
Week 1 is upon us. The true beginning of the season. But I do have one more complaint: college football Week 1 shouldn’t kick off on a Thursday. It’s a sport that is meant for Saturdays. The fact that we get Cincinnati at Nebraska in an NFL stadium instead of #1 Texas at #3tOSU as the first major primetime game of the season is a shame. Even if all the people in wheelchairs finna standup if Nebraska ends up winning.
At the end of the day, we should just be happy that football is back, so that’s what I will turn to.
Editor’s note: I work Saturdays now, so I will not be able to watch a lot of college football this year. This is the 4th year of the blog and it will be the most uninformed this blog has ever been. Take that how you’d like. I will have zero analysis on my picks this week.
The SEC Insider is back. The Prem League Advisor is here again. We all start at 0-0 as of this writing.
Before the weekly picks, I have some regular season win totals I like (I’ll try and use DraftKings odds for all my picks):
Ohio State: under 10.5 wins (-140) – Kinda shocked it was -140 to the under. I thought I would be a contrarian with this pick. They went all in last season, Last Dance-style, and it worked but the follow-up is usually underwhelming in these situations. I think they lose three games.
Penn State: over 10.5 wins (-105) – They’re trying to be this year’s Buckeyes. They plucked DC Jim Knowles from Columbus, Allar is back, they got a bunch of dudes who returned instead of going to the draft. Everyone doubted Ryan Day the same way they are doubting James Franklin. I’m not going to ignore the similarities. Not picking them to win it all, but if their only loss is to tOSU, they hit this number.
Indiana: over 8.5 win (+100) – I got to.
Vanderbilt: under 5.5 wins (-125) – Last year was cute. Everyone has the book on Pavia and Co. now. Vandy is going back to the shitter of the SEC.
Alabama: over 9.5 wins (-120) – Even after last year, they’re still Alabama. Deboer gets his OC Ryan Grubb back, who he worked with at Washington when Penix was the QB. The Bama QB Simpson has been riding the pine for two years and got a chance to learn Deboer’s system. It wouldn’t shock me if they go 12-0.
Last week: 0-0 / In 2024: 106-102-2 / Since 2022: 245-237-4
Dominic Toretto’s “Take it or leave it” Pick of the Week (Last week: 0-0 / 2024 record: 8-7 / Overall: 17-13-1):
Boise State -5.5 at South Florida
Cincinnati vs Nebraska -6.5
Georgia Tech -4 at Colorado
Texas +1.5 at Ohio State
Old Dominion at Indiana -23.5
Alabama -14 at Florida State
UTSA at Texas A&M -23.5
Utah -5.5 at UCLA
Virginia Tech vs South Carolina -7.5
Notre Dame
SEC Insider Picks of the Weekend
Last week: 0-0 / 2024 record: 21-34-1 / Overall: 54-59-3
*the following is verbatim*
The biggest room in the world is the room for improvement. And that’s just what we need to do in 2025. For you, for me, for everyone, I have to be better.
Mouth Watering Pick of the Week (3-9-1 in 2024 / 14-13-1 overall): Texas ml (+102) at Ohio State – Did you not think the insider would roll with the SEC in the week 1 MWP? I’m buying the TX hype. Talent and playmakers everywhere. I see TX being able to stop the run. I do not love the Buckeyes having to replace both coordinators. Is Day really going to let Hartline call plays? Welcome to the show Sayin. Sources tell me he left the SEC for a reason..
Georgia Tech -4 at Colorado – I’m bullish on the Jackets this year. Haynes King back for what feels like his 10th year in college. Love the coaching staff and think OC Buster Faulkner will coach circles around the Buffs staff. Ralphie a late scratch with him retiring. Not good. All signs point to GT
Syracuse +14 vs Tennessee – I think the Circus of an off season continues into the regular season for the Vols. Regression incoming. I don’t think they improve on O and the certainly have to regress on D after they carried them last year. Fran Brown has the blue print on how to stop this Tennessee offense from his time at UGA. A lot of points to give on a neutral site in an opener. Sloppy football coming.
Prem League Advisor Pick of the Weekend
Last week: 0-0 / 2024 record: 6-6 / Since 2023: 8-6
*the following is verbatim*
Tottenham ML -155
Worst thing about being 1-0… When the editor and chief of this blog decides not to post a Week 0 article and my followers don’t receive Bournemouth ML last week.
This week we’re fading Bournemouth. I believe Tottenham is playing the best football in the league right now. Big juice for an easy dub.
Griffin Weinberg 